3. 不止是孤独的人:网络约会的流行及社会影响

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Not only the Lonely - Oxford Abridged Short Talks

This presentation will explore the many facets of online dating that have emerged from our recent Pan-European study of couples and relationships. In particu...

This is a, a little bit of taste of

some data that we've been running at the Oxford Internet institute

I'm a, I'm a researcher there

we are looking at a cross-national study of

Internet-enabled couples and their relationship practices

So nothing says love like bar charts

So, I thing you'd, in which case

if that's the case then you came to the right place

Part of what we're doing with this early report that we released is

getting in assessment of the state of play

for online dating and online relationships

10, 15 years ago there were tabloid stories

I found love online

And now days, you know

since social network software and all sorts of dating software

Match. com, eHarmony

it's become a little more broadly diffused

but there are still stigmas and also still myths about this

So I'm going to play a bit of myth-buster this afternoon

and perhaps validate some couples who might have been online

So, this might be, some people's notions of

the best match for your online who is

the suitor that's waiting for you

Now this is a, this is a classic and well-diffused picture of

some poor chap on the Internet

but, then of course we

further on we start to concern ourselves

with issues of authenticity in the online world

are we actually even interacting with real people in real spaces?

The classic cartoon from the New Yorker say

on the Internet, no one knows you are a dog

But of course now if you are a dog on dogbook

and you have a bunch of dog friends and your favorite food is Purina

chances are people now do know you are a dog

And so in the intertwining years

it seems that this notion has, has diffused

authenticity has risen

and people now are using online dating sites rather, rather substantially

So we did a survey of Internet-enabled couples in 18 countries

this is a survey where we ask

both individuals to fill out, fill out the survey

and it was about 1,000 people per country

so we have about 12,000 responses

And in the last 5 years

Interestingly, 25% of the couples, the new couples in this study

met online

online dating sites are still the most popular way that people meet online

although there were lots of other ways

through facebook, chatrooms, forums, gaming and so forth

And a majority of people now actually know somebody

who has met their, met a partner or met and had a relationship online

So this line is a, perhaps a little tiny you can see as sort of

a gentle gradual slope coming up from 1997

that's around the time that we start getting databases

and ways to sort of and search and say

I wanna find someone who's, I don't know

6 foot 5, loves opera, eats jelly beans and so forth

and you know, going to the right place I can find that person

To zoom in on that

this is what looks like, looks like now days in the past 10 years

this line has steadily risen to about 30%

so these are, these are the percentage of couples in our study

by the year that they started their relationship

and certainly most recently these couples

over 30% of them have been, have started online

So how does Britain compare in this study?

To give you the sense of the, first the countries that are in here

and the number of people who met their spouses or partners online

These are the percentage of people in a current relationship

where their relationship started since 1997

that was when that started to, when that trend started to increase

and Britain is right in the middle of there

so about 22% of people in our sample

of those who started in, I guess the last 14 years since 1997

who had their, who started their relationship online

Now, while Britain dose tend to be relatively in the middle here

in terms of the number of people who start their relationships online

the British tend to be a bit mum about this

They're not as likely to mention this to other people

not as quiet as the Japanese and the Germans

which sort of odd about this

if you notice, Germany is very mum about this

returning to this earlier chart

since 1997, 30% of couples started online

but they're keeping it to themselves

and they are way over on the other side

So, why do I, why do I mention this?

And this is, this is the percentage of people who know someone

who was in a relationship online

I mention this because what we found that's very interesting is that

online dating is an experience technology

it's an example of technology where if you have some experience with it

good or bad

it tends to lead positive sentiment

this is the same for online banking or online shopping

where if you are not into it

it's very difficult to persuade someone

Oh, I'm going to get viruses

and the goblins will jump up at my computer and so forth

there're stoker will meet me

anyone will be attractive

So, but now those people who simply tried online dating

tend to agree that it's a good way to meet people

and tend to believe that their friends are comfortable with it

And well, those who have their current partner who they met online

tend to be very positive about this

the real, the real (INAUDIBLE) is between

those who tried and those who has't

which is why we talk about it as

as a technology of experience and of exposure

And we have a similar story for values

those people who tried or had some sort of experience with it

tend to feel very positive about it

whereas those who haven't

tend to be very reluctant and skeptical

This is a one shot survey

so what we can't do is look at

we can't look at this change over time

I can't say which one caused which, the chicken and egg story here

But it does seem to be relevantly persuasive that

mirror exposure to online tends to be related to positive sentiments

But what, what's interesting is that this is a story about online

about online dating and about dating broadly

Now I'm from, I'm from north America, I'm from Canada

dating like job interviews is very common part of life there

and I mention that because over here I've

I've heard that dating is not itself a necessarily broadly diffused concept

you know you go out to someone

you give them your likes, your interest, your resume

they took off the boxes and

if it all works out in the end, you get the second job interview

and hopefully at some point you meet the parents

But, no, instead of, dating isn't actually that serious, thankfully

But what we thought was that there be a substitution affect

that what we would see is that since 1997 as online dating risen

personals would go down

and meeting through friends of friends would go down

and it turns out those are the things that are not going down

those things are also

they've also increased since online dating started to rise

But what did decrease was meeting people through family

through hobby groups, and through church groups

and these are, through these broad group based activities

and in their place what we see rising

are these activities are just one on one, very personable

and the idea that I'm going to be a individual meeting another individual

and hopefully start a relationship with them

is the colonel, is the basis behind which online dating resigns

And so that is what seems to be on the rise

as much as online dating itself

And finally the last thing I just wanna to mention

and asking about who is doing this

Well, it's just because young people are more interested in computers

more savvy

is that why, is that why online dating in on the rise?

Because they are dating online

Well of course, younger people are more likely to be single

and therefore more likely to be a potential candidate for online dating

so when we look at the ages of the people who started a relationship

the percentage of those who did it online

see obviously that is young people

25% of those in their 20s in our sample started their relationship online

and about 18% of those in their 30s started it online

But when we look at the age when the relationship started

a different picture emerges

Older people tend not to be single

but of those who are single and are starting a relationship

they are the ones who were more likely to be using online dating

than the young

Very interestingly

almost 40% of the people who started a relationship since 1997

almost 40% of those in the age 40 or above did so online

so the online world seems to be

an accessible

useful way in order to meet somebody individually one on one

and especially for those who, who are older

So just to summarize

you know online dating is been, is been on the rise

people who have experience with it seems to hold it in a higher regard

And as this practice has diffused

it's become popular

and less about the myths of the poor Internet nerds

more about, more about individual

sort of meeting this, using this as a way to meet individuals

in addition to other practices

and it's popular among the young

and very useful for those over 40

And so just some, some deep thoughts about this, if I could

if I could try to find some I would, but include of those are some up here

What the online world does is make thing findable

make people findable, make information findable

And so this is certainly working for people trying to find relationships

it's all just end there and thank you for your time

Thank you