听译：Johnny @九点钟是开始搬砖的时间 @JunglePi_Jaysen @4号傻兔 @里兹Gu
欢迎 欢迎 欢迎大家收看《上周今夜秀》 || Welcome welcome welcome to Last Week Tonight ! 我是囧橄榄 非常感谢大家的收看 || I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for joining us.
今晚我们用白宫开场 || And we begin tonight with the White House: 不论里面正在发生什么 仍不失为一个美丽的建筑 || Still a beautiful building despite what's currently happening inside it.
锅不是房子的 || It's not the house's fault. #锅不是房子的# || #itsnotthehousesfault.
周五的时候 出了条大新闻 || Well, on Friday, there was big news: 白宫发生了又一次人事震动 || Another staff shake-up at the White House.
总战略师史蒂芬·班农出局了 || Chief strategist Steve Bannon is out. 是哒 史蒂夫·班农离职了 || Yes, Steve Bannon is gone,
这下他可以花更多的时间去自食其鸟了 || presumably to spend more time sucking his own cock. 他留下的政绩是 仇外情绪的准合宪性 || But he leaves behind a legacy defined by quasi-constitutional xenophobia,
诸多没有实现的竞选承诺 以及对一个问题的最终答案 || unfulfilled campaign promises, and a definitive answer to the question, 那就是 如果马丁·辛只吃海盐吃上一千年会变成什么样子 || What would happen if Martin Sheen ate nothing besides sea-salt for a thousand years?
虽然他的离职让人吃惊 || And while shocking, 班农离职只是最近发生的一系列离职中的最新一件 || Bannon is just the latest in a string of recent departures.
这张总统和他的顶级顾问们在椭圆办公室的合影 || This picture of the President in the Oval Office with his top advisors was taken 是在就职典礼之后不久拍摄的 || just days after the inauguration.
现在国家安全顾问Michael Flynn 离职 || Now national security advisor Michael Flynn, gone. 新闻发言人Sean Spicer 离职 || Press secretary Sean Spicer, gone.
阁僚长Reince Preibus 离职 || Chief of staff Reince Preibus, gone. 最后是今天 班农离职 || And finally today, Steve Bannon.
哇哦 || Wow! 他被四个白色轮廓和麦克·彭斯围绕着! || He's surrounded by four white nothings and Mike Pence!
所以 || So, 我们可以算作是五个白色轮廓 || Let's make that five white nothings!
但是班农的离职最让人不开心的地方是 || But the truly depressing thing about Bannon's departure 这从根本上是不能让人满意的 || is how utterly unsatisfying it actually is.
因为就算一个全白人国家主义者的迎合者离开了白宫 || Because yes, one panderer to white nationalists has left the White House. 但他为之工作的那一个 还完整地存在于白宫中 || The problem is, the one he was working for is still very much there.
星期四 特朗普重申了他上周的 || And on Tuesday, Trump doubled down on his remarks 关于夏洛茨维尔群体游行的言论 || about the groups' march in Charlottesville last weekend.
那些人不全是新纳粹 相信我 || Not all those people were neo-Nazis, believe me. 那些人绝对不全是白人至上主义者 || Not all of those people were white supremacists by any stretch.
那群人里面是有很糟糕的人 || You had some very bad people in that group. 但肯定也有非常好的人的 双方都有 || But you also had people that were very fine people on both sides.
不是! 不是! || No! No! 那可真的没有什么好人 我告诉你为啥 || There weren't! And I'll tell you why.
因为你要是和全白人国家主义者一起游行的话 || Because if you're marching with white nationalists, 从定义上说 你就不是什么好人 || you are - by definition - not a very nice person.
我这么说吧 || Let me put it in this way. 要是马拉拉也参加了这个游行 || If Malala Yousafzai had taken part in that rally,
那你也得说 从现在起马拉拉就是个烂人了 || you'd have to say "Okay: I guess Malala sucks now. 虽然我也很困惑她为什么出现在那儿 || I mean, I'm confused, I don't know why she's there,
但现在的马拉拉绝对是个烂人 这是唯一可以得到的结论 || but Malala definitely sucks and that's the only conclusion you can draw." 谢天谢地 对特朗普的谴责很快就出现了 || Now, thankfully, condemnation of Trump came fast --
甚至有些来自于意料之外的来源 || sometimes from unexpected quarters. 一个由重要企业CEO组成的核心白宫顾问团投票决定解散 || A key white house advisory council of powerhouse CEOs voting to disband.
不论是民主党还是共和党 顾问团中的很多商业领袖发声表态 || Many of those business leaders, Democrats and Republicans speaking out, 例如金汤宝的CEO发布声明说 || like the CEO of Campbell's Soup, saying
"种族主义与谋杀应当被明确地谴责 || "Racism and murder are unequivocally reprehensible. 夏洛茨维尔发生的其他任何事情 || And are not morally equivalent to
都不能在道德层面上和它们混为一谈" || anything else that happened in Charlottesville. 天哪 || Wow.
当你成为了金汤宝的CEO的时候 || When you become CEO of Campbell's Soup, 肯定想不到自己发布的公共声明要这么开头 || you do not expect to have to start your public statements with the words
"种族主义与谋杀应当被明确地谴责" || "Racism and murder are unequivocally reprehensible." 你预料中开头应该是 || You expect to start them by saying,
"是的 我们很抱歉 || Yes, we're very sorry. 但讲道理 是你自己决定从罐头里吃蛤蜊浓汤的" || But again: you're the one eating clam chowder from a can."
与此同时 常常和川普一国的评论员们 || Meanwhile, commentators who are usually in Trump's corner 这次在捍卫他的言论的时候真的有些艰难 || had genuinely a tough time defending his remarks
FOX新闻台的Melissa Francis大概是最辛苦的那个了 || -- none tougher than fox news's Melissa Francis. 他没说在新纳粹抗议者里面有很好的人 || He didn't say there were very good people among neo-Nazi protesters.
他说了另一边（新纳粹抗议者）中有很好的人 || He said there were very good people on the other side. 现场是有人去抗议雕像（被拆）. . . || There are people that were opposed to the statues. . .
他说的是. . . . 你听我说 不是. . . || He was talking about. . . Look at, but. . . 我真想说 || Can I tell you this?
这场对话让我非常的不舒服 || I am so uncomfortable having this conversation. 就是在于这位女士之前所说的话 因为 || And that's what this woman said before this, because
我知道我的真心是什么样的 || I know what's in my heart. 我知道我不认为人和人会因为肤色 有什么不同 || And I know that I don't think anyone is different, better, or worse
有什么优劣 但我感觉到 || based on the color of their skin, but I feel like 现在我们讲的任何话都要被拿出来审判了 || There is nothing any of us can say right now without being judged.
好吧 这有一条建议 || Well, here's a tip: 如果你因给"纳粹同情者"阶段的特朗普辩护 || If you're getting emotionally overwhelmed and feeling judged,
而感觉到情绪无助 被人审判 || For defending Trump in his "Nazi sympathizer" phase, 那就别TM这么做了呗 多简单啊 || stop fucking doing it. It's that simple.
又没人逼你为他辩护 || No one is making you do it. 另外的是 我要重点指出 || Also, and I can't stress this enough:
你是怎么把你自己变成话题中心的? || How did you manage to make this about you? 这技能真是太让人佩服了 || That it is almost impressive.
看特朗普的共和党同僚 怎么用尽全力去回避 || It was also fascinating to watch Trump's own party 回应他的言论 也是一件很有趣的事情 || try desperately not to deal with what he said.
以参议院多数党领袖Mitch McConnel为例 || Take senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, 他的办公室一开始回应的声明是 || whose office initially responded with a statement that
"对于特朗普的新闻发布会Mitch McConnel没有新的评论" || "he had no new response to Trump's news conference." 但是到星期三 一个新的谣言流传开来 || Although by Wednesday, a new rumour started making the rounds:
非常接近参议院共和党领袖Mitch McConnel的线人 || Sources close to senate majority leader Mitch McConnell 说他的态度是"非常担忧 非常不悦" || describe him as "very concerned and very upset."
McConnel的办公室出面否认掉了这个谣言 || McConnell's office denies that. 没有错 就是这样的 || Yes, that's right.
Mitch McConnel有这个道德勇气去否认一个 || Mitch McConnell had the moral courage to deny anonymous sources 说他还是有点道德勇气的匿名消息 || who said he had some moral courage.
"我不会眼睁睁的看着别人把我的名声从一滩污泥里面拯救出来的 || "I will not stand idly by while people drag my name out of the mud. 把我名声放回那一滩污泥里面 它就属于那!" || Leave my name in the mud where it belongs!"
其余人则是谨小慎微地遣词造句 || Others tried to delicately thread the needle, 谴责纳粹的同时又不明确提到总统 || Condemning the nazis without explicitly mentioning the president.
比如泡软 这个人的脊椎10年前就离家出走了 || Take Paul Ryan, a man whose spine ran away from home ten years ago, 现在在佛蒙特州北部的一个脊椎社区中生活 || and is now living on a spine commune in northern Vermont.
他发推特说 "白人至上主义令人反感" || He tweeted that "white supremacy is repulsive", 却没有提到川普 || But did not mention Trump.
拜托 你可以提他的名字 || And come on. You can mention him. 他又不是伏地魔 他就是一个恶毒地攻击他的敌人 || He's not Voldemort. He's just a terrifying entity
并且以出生背景判断一个人的可怕存在 不是么 || who viciously attacks his enemies, and judges people based on his birth, right? 啊呀呀这不就是伏地魔么 我才发现 || and you know what, I do hear it now.
我收回刚才说的话 || I hear it now. I take it back. 这并不意味着没有共和党人指名道姓地谴责他 || And that's not to say no republicans condemned him by name.
因为有人这么做了 || Because some did. 我们看看 || Let's take a look at
有多少共和党议员 在其对于夏洛特斯维尔的答复中 || Just how many republican lawmakers have called the President out by name 点名批评总统 || over his response to Charlottesville.
当然这在大约300名国会中共和党人里面 只是很小一部分 || Now, this is really only a handful of the roughly 300 republicans in Congress. 确切地说这已经算是大方了 || Exactly, that's actually generous.
因为那个图片包括 || Because that graphic includes -- 约翰•卡西奇 他都不是国会成员 || John Kasich, who isn't even a member of Congress,
还有小小布什 他完全没有任何政府中的职位 || and Jeb Bush, who holds no government position whatsoever. 他现在 —我在说实话— 在奥兰多营业一家自己的冻酸奶店 || He's currently -- and this is true -- running his own frozen yogurt shop in Orlando.
听说他们家的热带芒果味. . . 很一般啦 || Apparently, their tropical mango flavour is. . . fine. 也不会给你打开新世界的大门 || It's not going to change your life.
马马虎虎 || It's fine. 但是现实是 美国总统暗示 || But the fact is, after the President of the united states implied that
好人在和纳粹一起游行 || good people were marching with Nazis. 而绝大部分共和党人选择了不谴责他 || The overwhelming majority of Republicans opted not to condemn him.
据我们的统计 国会中292位共和党成员 || By our count, out of 292 Republican members of congress, 其中仅有大约54位感到愤怒而明确地谴责川普 || Only around 54 could be bothered to unequivocally condemn Trump by name.
这连20%都不到 || That's less than 20 percent! 不提他名字的问题在于 || And the problem with not mentioning him
不知怎地 川普似乎并不是一个关键环节 || is that suggests he is somehow not a key part of the problem here. 在此引用诗人 碧昂丝和其他的几位: || So in the words of the poets Beyoncé and the other ones:
"道其名 道其名 || Say his name, say his name. 赴Fox新闻 || Go right on to Fox News.
言'川普吾责之' || Say Donald I condemn you. 若君非戏焉" || If you ain't runnin' game."
所以尽管这周总是被称作一个转折点 || So although this week has been repeatedly called a turning point, 我确实很希望这样想 但是我真的看不出有什么特别的 || Much as though I would love to believe that, I really don't see it.
因为 每一天都跟转折点一样 || Because every day has felt like a turning point. 我们早已不是在转折 而是在原地打转 || We're not so much turning anymore as spinning.
我们差不多是在一个停不下来的旋转木马上 || We're basically on a carousel that won't stop, 我们呕吐得已经没有什么可以吐出来 || We've all vomited so much there's nothing left to throw up,
而且没有办法下来 || and there's no way to get off. 因为一个反复无常的种族迫害的小丑正在操作着控制台 || Because an unstable race-baiting carny is operating the controls.
我们在共和党人决定做任何事之前 || And we're probably going to go through a lot more 或许还要经历更多的东西 || before the republicans ever decide to do anything
因为残酷的事实是 没有什么东西会真的改变 || because the hard truth here, is that nothing is really going to change in the white house 直到那张照片中再多一个人被请出大门 || until one more person in that photo finally gets shown the fucking door.
现在 亮点时刻 || And Now, This. 现在 地方新闻回答问题：到底能不能直视太阳? || And now, local news answers the question, should you stare at the sun?
到现在我们已经基本达成共识 你永远不要直视太阳 || By now it's been pretty well established that you should never look directly at the sun. 如果没有恰当保护措施 你会面临永久损伤眼睛的风险 || You'll risk permanent eye damage if you look at the sun without proper eye protection.
通过一个暗色啤酒瓶看? || Peered through a dark beer bottle? 大错特错 || Wrong.
在玻璃上喷漆? || Spray paint glass? 万万不可 || Don't do it.
永远 永远不要像这样看太阳 || Never, ever, do not look at the sun like this. 我们已经多次强调 || We cannot stress this enough.
看太阳永远是危险动作 || It is always dangerous to look at the sun. 你不能看太阳 否则就得医院游一圈 || You cannot look at the sun or else we'll be taking a trip to the hospital.
你不应该直接看太阳 除非你和眼睛过意不去 || You're not supposed to stare right at the sun unless you hate your eyes. 注意啦 你可能会瞎的 || Be warned, you could go blind.
你不会瞎的 || You are not going to go blind, 但是根据我的验光师 会对你的眼睛造成巨大损伤 || but it could cause significant damage to your eye according to my optometrist.
其实没有直视太阳的安全时间 || There is actually no amount of time that's safe to look at the sun. 如果通过望远镜直视太阳而又没有恰当的滤镜 || If you look at the sun through a telescope without a appropriate filter,
你几乎会一瞬间失去你的视力 || you'll lose your eyes pretty much instantly. 不要盯着太阳 || Do not stare at the sun.
很明显 不要盯着太阳 || Obviously don't stare at the sun. 不要盯着太阳 || Don't stare at the sun.
不要盯着太阳 伙计们这是我最后一次说了 || Don't stare at the sun. That's the last time I'm gonna say it, folks. 不 要 看 太 阳 || Do not look at the sun.
尽管有那么多提醒 我们几乎已经谈论这个日食一年了 || Despite all warnings, everything we've been talking about through a year, about this eclipse 你还是要直接去看太阳? || You're going to look straight into the sun?
恐怕我会去的 是的 || I'm afraid I am, yes. 我们继续 || Moving on.
这期的大故事 是核废料 || Our main story tonight concerns nuclear waste. 浣熊们接触到的垃圾里面 这是最糟糕的一种 || The worst type of garbage for raccoons to get into.
由于下面这类的电影 我们都知道这种物质很危险 || It's a substance we all know is dangerous, thanks to movies like this: 他们折磨他 直到他遭遇了可怕的意外 并且掉入了核废料大桶里 || They tormented him until he had a horrifying accident and fell into a vat of nuclear waste
Melvin成为了 剧毒复仇者! || Melvin became the Toxic Avenger! 首个在核废料中诞生的超级英雄 || The first superhero born out of nuclear waste.
他的面孔实在太过恐怖 现在没法展现给你 || His face is so terrifying, we can't show it to you now. 你得亲自看这部电影 || You'll have to see the movie for yourself.
说实话 你真的不需要看这部电影 || Honestly, you really don't need to see the movie, 他的脸也没有那么恐怖 就是这样 || because his face really isn't that terrifying. This is it.
是很糟糕 但是丑到了一种境界 几乎又有点可爱了 || I mean it's bad, but it's so ugly, it's almost cute again. 就跟有人融了一个哈巴狗蜡烛一样 || It's like someone melted a candle shaped like a pug.
我要说的重点是 核废料 || The point here is, nuclear waste, 也就是制造核能源以及核武器的有放射性和毒性的副产物 || the radioactive and toxic byproducts from making nuclear energy and weapons,
是一个严重的安全健康危害 || is a serious health hazard. 而且美国有很多 || And America has a lot of it.
在全国的104个核反应堆中滞留着71000多吨的核废料 || There are more than 71,000 tons of nuclear waste stranded at the nation's 104 reactors. 把所有用过的燃料棒堆在一起 || Put all those spent fuel rods together
可以堆成一个足球场的面积 20多英尺高 || and you get a pile as big as a football field and more than 20 feet tall. 你也可以堆成两个足球场大 10英尺高 || Or you could put them in a pile as big as two football fields and ten feet tall,
或者半个足球场大 40英尺高 || Or half a football field and forty feet tall, 或者20个足球场 1英尺高 || or twenty football fields one foot tall.
总之重点是 我们有太多的核废料 它们都超好玩哦 || The point is, we have a lot of nuclear waste and it is very fun to play with. 这还只是核能源造成的垃圾 || And that's just the waste from nuclear energy.
我们还有超过1亿加仑的武器制造产生的有毒液体废料 || We also have more than 100 million gallons of hazardous liquid waste from producing weapons. 你与核废料之间的距离可能比你想象的要近很多 || And you may live closer to nuclear waste than you think.
三分之一的美国民众生活在高放核废料方圆50英里范围内 || One out of three Americans live within 50 miles of high-level nuclear waste. 有些废料 例如钚 是对人有致命威胁的 || Some of which, like plutonium, is lethally dangerous,
并且可以存在相当长的时间 || and will be around for an incredibly long time. 即使是摄入微量的钚 都是致命的 || Even microscopic amounts of plutonium, if ingested, are deadly.
钚的特质之一是超长的半衰期 || One of the characteristics of it is it has an extremely long half-life. 比如钚239的半衰期是24000年 || Plutonium 239 for example has a half-life of about twenty-four thousand years.
真事儿 24000年呢 || It's true, 24,000 years. 这还只是一小部分 || And that just scratches the surface.
钚需要10个半衰期才会变得无毒无害 || It takes ten half-lives for plutonium to become harmless. 也就是24万年呢 || So that's 240,000 years.
或者用更通俗的说法讲 一部《英国病人》的长度 || A unit of time more commonly known as one English patient. 正如每个收藏美国女孩娃娃的成年人最终发现的那样 || And as any adult with an American Girl doll collection eventually finds out.
如果你想把一样东西保存过长的时间 || If you want to keep something around for a disturbingly long time, 你必须要找个合适的地方存放它 || You've got to find an appropriate place to put it.
我受不了你这些杀人娃娃了 || I can't live with your murder dolls anymore! Felicity在我睡着的时候盯着我看 || Felicity stares at me while I sleep!"
就这么直勾勾的看着我啊啊啊啊 || She stares at me! She stares, unblinking!" 我不是第一个提出这种观点的人 || And look, I'm not the first person to make this point.
请看1990年的新闻报道 || Look at this news report from 1990. 在开始使用核能源半个世纪之后 || Almost half a century after nuclear power was harnessed,
我们在如何保存核废料的问题上依然没有达成共识 || there still is no agreement on where to store the waste. 一位评论家说 我们建好了房子 却忘了盖厕所 || We have built the house, said one critic, and forgotten the toilets.
没有洗手间的家 || A home with no toilets, 或者如卖布鲁克林Loft公寓的销售员说的 || or as a realtor selling a Brooklyn loft is calling it right now,
"艺术感十足的堆肥" || "artisanal composting". 你在建议我拉在盆栽里吗 || You're suggesting I shit in that potted plant,
我们都清楚我真的会这么做的 || and you and I both know that I'll do it. 因为这房子交通便利 而且东边和北边的采光都不错 || because this is convenient to public transport, and it has both northern and eastern exposures."
这条新闻已经有27年 可是我们还是没有建好核厕所 || Well, it's been 27 years since that clip and our country still doesn't have a nuclear toilet. 这就是我们今晚的主题 || And that's our subject tonight:
为什么我们没有建好核厕所 || why do we not have a nuclear toilet? 其实很容易理解为什么我们会陷入这种状况 || And it's actually easy to understand how we got into this situation.
二战期间 我们急于发展核武器 || During World War II, we rushed to develop nuclear weapons, 从而打败纳粹 || because we were trying to defeat the nazis,
好笑的是 当年所有美国人都觉得纳粹是坏人 || who, fun fact: pretty much all Americans agreed were bad at the time. 重点是 我们确实没有计划 || The thing is, we didn't really have a plan for what to do
如何安置这些有放射性的副产品 || with all the radioactive byproducts that we produced. 于是产生了一些蠢到飞起的解决方案 || And this initially led us to some mind-blowingly stupid solutions.
比如说 有好些年 我们是这么做的 || For instance, for years, we actually did this: 他们把这些放射性废料装进桶里面 || They loaded the radioactive waste and it was in barrels,
装着放射性废料 灌注水泥的55加仑大桶 || 55 gallon barrels of radioactive waste with concrete poured over it. 好玩的是 全世界只有新泽西州红岸市的海是发光的 || It's funny, the ocean don't glow out there outside of Red Bank, New Jersey.
真事儿 我们没少在那边的海里丢桶 || Really, 'cause we dumped a lot of barrels out there. 真真的 || It's true.
我们不仅仅把装着放射性废料的大桶丢进海里 || We didn't just dump barrels of radioactive waste in the ocean, 还是在新泽西的海岸丢的 || we did it off the coast of New Jersey.
真的很吓人呀 || That's so horrifying. 我很惊讶《泽西海岸》是轻松愉快的MTV系列电视题目 || I'm surprised Jersey Shore was the title of a lighthearted MTV series
而不是惊悚纪录片的名字 || and not the name of a harrowing documentary. 那一个时代的孩子 出生的时候都没有拇指 || An entire generation of children was born without thumbs,
这种现象被本地人称作"局面" || a phenomenon known to locals as. . . the situation." 意外的是 并不是所有桶都沉底了 || And incidentally: not all of those barrels sank.
实际上 在1957年 人们发现海边飘着两个桶 || In fact, in 1957, when two barrels were caught floating off the shore, 海军飞机得到指令用机枪扫射这两个桶 直到他们沉下去 || naval aircraft were summoned to strafe them with machine-gun fire until they sank.
是的 他们真的用机枪扫射装着放射性废料的桶 || That's right. They shot barrels full of nuclear waste with machine guns. 这大概是历史上大声说出来的话里面最吓人的一句了吧 || That's got to be one of the most terrifying sentences ever said out loud,
当然还是比不过"川普现在是总统了" || right after "Donald Trump is the President now" 以及"等会 昨晚睡觉的时候Felicity不是在另一个架子上吗 || and "Wait, wasn't Felicity on a different shelf when we went to bed last night?
天哪 Felicity真的是行走的噩梦啊" || Oh, my god! Felicity is a waking nightmare." 事实上 把一桶桶核废料丢进海里 || Although, the truth is, tossing barrelfuls of nuclear waste into the ocean
然后用机枪扫射 || and shooting them with machine guns 相比下一个真实存在过的点子来说 已经算好的了 || is actually preferable to at least one genuine other idea
那就是发射到太空 幸好这个主意被否决了 || that was thankfully rejected: that was blasting it into space. 这个想法有个明显漏洞 || A concept with a pretty clear flaw:
可惜的是 我们发射火箭的历史记录并不算很好 || Unfortunately, we don't have a great record with getting rockets out into the atmosphere. 如果有哪个火箭爆炸了 || If any one of them blew up,
那这些放射性物质会污染到 || That would basically contaminate 地球的很大一部分区域 || a large portion of the earth with-with radioactive material,
所以这恐怕不是什么太好的主意 || So that's probably not a great idea. 可不是么 || Yeah, you're right.
真不是什么好主意 || That's probably not a great idea. 真正的好主意是在火箭里塞满彩纸屑 || I mean a really great idea would be also filling the rockets up with confetti,
至少如果真的出了事儿 我们还可以得到一个趴~~~踢 || so at least in that way if there's a horrific accident, there's also a party. 这些年来 我们已经把核废料丢遍全国 || Over the years, we've dumped nuclear waste all over the country,
在不少地方已经出现了可怕的泄露事故 || and in many places, there have been frightening leaks. 比如南卡罗莱纳州的萨凡纳河场址 || Take the Savannah River Site in South Carolina,
没有被合理存储的有害物质泄露并污染了地下水源 || where waste from poorly stored material leaked into the groundwater. 下面请看超级淡定哥来解释可能出现的后果 || And just watch this alarmingly laid-back man explain the consequences of that.
这里有放射性鳄鱼 || There are radioactive alligators on the site. 地下沉积物中已经出现放射性物质 || Radioactive materials are in the sediments.
它们会随着食物链堆积 最后产生放射性鳄鱼 || It's gonna go up the food chain and there's going to be radioactive alligators. 没错 放射性鳄鱼 || Yeah! Radioactive alligators!
它们甚至有名字呢 超重鳄和二鳄英 || They even have names: Tritagator and Dioxinator 名字来源于毒害他们的两种物质（超重氢 二恶英） || after two of the wastes that poisoned them.
这名字挺机智的 如果要我起名的话 || And that's very clever. Because if I had to give them names. 我可能会想出来一些比如 || I'd have probably gone with something like
啊啊啊啊啊我屮艸芔茻放射性鳄鱼啊 || "Ahhhhhhhh holy shit a fucking radioactive alligator!" 欧漏老天抽什么风怎么还有一只放射鳄鱼 || and "oh no, fuck me, there's another one what nightmare hath god wrought?"
不仅仅是爬行动物受到了核废料的影响 || And it's not just reptiles who've been impacted by nuclear waste. 研究人员正在研究密苏里州北圣路易斯的一块地方 || Researchers are now studying an area in north St. Louis County, Missouri, where
这里有成吨的曼哈顿工程遗留下来的核废料 || tons of waste from the Manhattan Project was improperly stored, 有些核废料就放在一条会穿过居民区的小溪旁边 || some near a creek that winds through residential communities.
住在那里的人已经注意到一些令人担忧的趋势了 || And people who lived there have noticed some alarming trends. 我通过脸书和高中同学重新联系起来 || I got on Facebook in order to reconnect with people from high school,
我们马上注意到 我们中太多的人都生病了 || and we all immediately started noticing that so many of us were sick. 我们发现退伍军人事务部发布了21种左右和辐射相关的癌症 || We've discovered that the Department of Veterans Affairs officially recognizes around 21 cancers
通过和我们的列表对比 我们患癌都和电离辐射有关 || associated with exposure to ionizing radiation, and compared that list to what we had. 每种癌症都患过 || We had all those cancers. Every single one.
在社交软件上发现熟人得了癌症真的是很让人痛心的事情 || That is incredibly depressing thing to discover on Facebook. 很难想出怎么回复这些人 || And it's hard to know how to respond.
我是说 你绝对不想给他们点赞 || I mean, you definitely don't want to use the 'like' button, 因为这貌似表达的是喜欢他们患了癌症 || because then it looks like you really 'like' the fact they just got cancer.
现在有一个新的表达伤心的表情 || Now, there is that new 'sad' emoji, 它本该十分合适 如果你还没在其他无关痛痒的场合滥用过的话 || which would really be perfect, if you hadn't already cheapened it by using to respond to the news
比如克里斯·帕拉特和安娜·法瑞丝分手时 我同意分手确实让人伤心 || that Chris Pratt and Anna Faris were separating. I mean, it's sad, it's sad. 但是和21种癌症重量级的伤心相比 这事顶多算9种（小巫见大巫） || But it's not 21-cancer-sad. It's 9-cancer-sad, tops.
重点是 六十年前 || The point is, thankfully, sixty years ago, 政府和学术界就达成共识 有了解决方案 || our government, and the scientific consensus, came up with a solution.
1957年 国家科学院发布了一份报告 || In 1957, the National Academy of Sciences issued a report 敦促建造地底永久储存设备 || urging the creation of a permanent storage facility deep underground.
基本上就是一个核废料厕所 || Basically, a nuclear toilet. 虽然我们已经在新墨西哥州建造用来储存低辐射核废料的仓库 || And while we did build a repository for lower-level waste in New Mexico,
但是我们还未建造用于储存最危险而且核辐射较高的废料的仓库 || we still haven't built one for the most dangerous, high-level waste. 结果就是 核废料留在了它们被制造的地方 这不是个好方法 || And as a result, it's essentially been left where it was made, which is not good,
因为那些设施没有被设计成可以永久储存废料 || because those facilities were not built with the idea they'd be storing indefinitely. 继续使用厕所这个比喻 || To continue the toilet metaphor,
我们基本上在袋子里上大号 || we've basically been shitting in bags, 放在房间的各个地方 || leaving them all over the house,
然后祈祷袋子不会漏 || and praying they don't leak. 最吓人的例子就是华盛顿州的汉福德 || And the most frightening example of this is the Hanford Site in Washington state,
汉福德制造了全美兵工厂三分之二的钚 || which created two-thirds of the plutonium in the U. S. arsenal, 它地下储存的剧毒和放射性核废料的数量 || and it's currently storing 56 million gallons
达到了5600万加仑 || of highly toxic and radioactive waste underground. 数年来 汉福德出过很多事情 || And over the years, there've been so many issues at Hanford
多到达成了一项诡异的成就 || that they've achieved a dubious honor, 根据当地新闻自豪报道 || as one local news station reported with an almost prideful tone.
西半球受污染最严重的地方 || The most contaminated place in the entire western hemisphere 不是在重污染工厂 也不是在旧化工厂 || isn't at a polluting factory or old chemical plant,
就在华盛顿州 || it's right here in Washington state. 噢! 就在这儿! 我们做到了兄弟们! || Oh! It's right here! We did it, guys!
欢迎来到华盛顿州：西半球污染最严重的家园 || Washington state: home to the most contaminated place in the Western hemisphere, 拥有上千英亩的苹果树 和数起泰德·邦迪谋杀案 || thousands of acres of apple orchards, and several of Ted Bundy's grisliest murders."
我们做到了! || We did it, right here! 汉福德这里发生过一系列问题 || There've been a string of problems at Hanford,
从爆炸 到毒蒸汽泄漏 || from explosions to toxic vapor releases, 到上百万加仑的核废料从储藏罐里泄漏出来 || to over a million gallons of waste leaking out of their tanks over the years.
情况糟糕到 || Its been so bad, 政府必须用近15亿美金 || the government has had to pay out nearly one and a half billion dollars in compensation
赔偿给 || to thousands of workers 由于辐射和有毒物质而生病的数千名员工 || for illnesses stemming from exposure to radiation and toxic chemicals there.
当地新闻报道了一系列关于汉福德的新闻 || A local news station has done a series of reports on Hanford, 在今年5月隧道塌方之后 || And after a tunnel collapse in this May,
记者发现一些基础设施不合理到令人发笑 || they found some of the infrastructure there is in almost comically badly put together: 导致隧道十分危险的元凶是在建造过程中犯的错误 || Mistakes during construction are factors in the dangerous state of the tunnels.
这些隧道基本都已经被建造了55到60年了 || They're 55 and 60 years old, 早就超出了它们的预期使用寿命 || well beyond their expected lifespan.
还有 木制的大梁已经被腐蚀了 || In addition, wood beams holding up the tunnels are eroding and 是什么腐蚀了大梁呢 核辐射 || what corrodes timber beams? Radiation.
的确 你不能期待用木头建造的东西能永垂不朽 || Yes, you can't build something out of wood and expect it to last forever. 你应该早就在《三只小猪》里第二蠢的猪那里学到了这个道理 || You're supposed to have learned that from the second dumbest of the Three Little Pigs.
汉福德现在是个巨大的问题 || Hanford is a gigantic problem, 即使汉福德已经30年没有生产任何东西了 || and even though it hasn't produced anything for thirty years,
能源部每年仍要花将近25亿美金对汉福德进行清理 || the department of energy still spends nearly two and a half billion a year on cleaning it up. 这个数字大概是这个部门10%的预算 || which is close to 10 percent of its annual budget.
一个你刚刚听说的地方 || And it's pretty weird to find out that a place 每年要花费能源部这么多钱 让人感觉很是微妙 || you just heard about is getting that much of the DOE's money.
就像是听说农业部把一半的预算 || It's like finding out that half the Department of Agriculture budget 花在这头叫做戈登的驼鹿上 || goes to this moose named Gordon.
我是说 我不知道应当花多少钱 || I mean, I don't know the right amount. 但是一半预算看上去还是太多了 || but that seems like a lot.
如果你在想 幸好我不住在汉福德地区 || And in case you're thinking, well, I'm definitely glad I don't live near Hanford, 记得吗 全国范围内有很多类似储藏核废料的地方 || Remember: there are nuclear power plants storing waste all over the country,
很多都储存在"燃料回收池"中 || lots of it in so-called "Spent Fuel Pools", 那些回收池本应是燃料棒暂时降温的地方 || That's where nuclear fuel rods are supposed to be temporarily placed to cool down,
然后燃料棒会被放进干燥的容器里 最后永久存入地下 || And then put in dry containers and moved to a permanent underground storage site. 但是记住 我们没有地下储存的地方 || But remember: we don't have one of those.
在很多地方 回收池只是在收集越来越多的燃料棒 || And in many places, those pools are just accumulating more and more rods. 虽然专家表示像福岛核电站那种事故不太可能在这些回收池中发生 || And while experts say it's highly unlikely, if a Fukushima-like accident happens at one of those,
但是要是发生了 结果将是毁灭性的 || The results could be catastrophic. 东北地区有很多的核电站 || The northeast has a number of nuclear power plants,
其中包括纽约市区旁边的印第安角核电站 || including the Indian Point Plant just outside of New York City. 如果其中任何一个核电站的回收池发生严重的事故 || If any one of those were to have a severe spent fuel pool accident,
很多大城市 很多农田 || you're taking away a lot of big cities, a lot of farmlands, 和很多美国领土 都会被毁灭几十年 甚至几百年 || a lot of the United States for decades, perhaps centuries.
你没听错 很多大城市 || That's right, lots of big cities. 纽约 哈特福特 波士顿 || New York, Hartford, Boston.
最后一个城市会令人十分遗憾 因为据我理解 || That last one is a real shame because as I understand it, 他们昨天才刚刚摆脱了种族歧视 || they only just got unracist yesterday.
至少他们可以享受自己的新生活了 || So, at least they can get to enjoy their new life. 很明了的是 我们需要一个能够永久储藏核废料的设施 || So it's pretty clear: we need to find a permanent facility to store our most dangerous waste.
30年之前 我们确实找到了一个地方 内华达的尤卡山 || And 30 years ago, we actually settled on a site: Yucca Mountain, in Nevada. 国会通过了法案 指定我们永久储藏核废料的唯一候选地就是尤卡山 || Congress passed a law designating it as our sole candidate for waste storage.
从那以后 我们花了150亿美金在这个地方做准备 || Since then, we spent $15 billion prepping the site, 你可以从这个乐观的视频中看出来 || as you can see from this upbeat video:
坐落在拉斯维加斯西北部100英里外 || Located about 100 miles northwest of Las Vegas, 在全世界用于储藏核废料的地点中 尤卡山是被研究最全面的 || Yucca Mountain is the most thoroughly-researched site of its kind in the world.
全世界的专家基本都同意 || Experts throughout the world agree that 最可行且最安全的处理核废料的方法 || the most feasible and safe method for disposing of highly radioactive materials
就是将核废料埋藏到地下深层 || is to store them deep underground. 是的 最适合核废料的地方就是地下深层 || That's right, the best place to put nuclear waste is in a hole deep underground,
就像是Felicity一样 || much like Felicity. 等会 她要是不在那里 那她在哪里 || Wait, if she's not in there, where is she?
我的神呐 || Oh Jesus fucking Christ (. . . (#°д°) ? 赶紧拿走 || Jesus fucking get out fucking here! σ ( °△°|||)! !
没事了 || It's alright. 重点是 尤卡山是我们永久的堆积站了 || The point is, so Yucca mountain is our permanent storage site.
问题解决了 对吗 || So the problem solved, right? 并非如此 虽然这个地点很安全 || Well, no. Because while the site has been deem safe
而且距离最近的奈县的居民是支持这个项目的 || and the people in the immediate area, Nye county, actually support the project 州内其他地区的更多内华达人则极其反对 || many Nevadans elsewhere in the state really don't want it
内华达前议员哈利·瑞德的努力游说 || And their former senator, Harry Reid, lobbied hard 最终让尤卡山的计划取消了 || eventually managing to get Yucca shut down
公平地讲 他确实有一个备选方案 || Now to be fair. He did have an alternative plan 让所有的州和他们的核废料天荒地老 || For all the states sitting on their nuclear waste
但委婉点说 他的主意不太符合科学合理的标准 || But to put it mildly, it was not exactly scientifically sound. 留在原地 || Leave it on site, where it is.
留在原地 干燥的存储起来 || Leave it where it is in dry cask storage containers. 如果你够聪明的话你就应该把它留在原处 || If you were smart, what you would do is leave the thing where it is.
如果你够聪明的话你就应该把它留在原处 || If you're smart, what you would do is leave the thing where it is" 这是个糟糕的处理核废料的主意 || Is terrible advice for dealing with nuclear waste.
尽管碰巧和英国育儿畅销书同名 || Although it is coincidentally The title of Britain's best-selling book on parenting. 然而真相是 || But here's the truth:
几十年的科学共识就这么被否认了 || The scientific consensus for decades has been denied 留在原处是一个很糟糕的主意 || that leaving it where it is, is a really bad idea.
加州San Onfre已关闭的核电站还在储存核废料 || The shuttered power plant at San Onfre in California is storing nuclear waste 而且它位于紧挨海边断层线上 || and it's on a fault line, right next to the ocean
这个剧情听起来像是会在飞机上放映的 || That sounds like something you learn in the first scene in the movie 由巨石强森主演的电影的第一幕 || starring the rock that you watch on a plane
这么说吧 也许尤卡山是用来储存 || And look: maybe Yucca is the best place 放射性垃圾的最佳地点 || to store our growing supply of radioactive garbage,
或者并不是 我也不是核科学家 || Maybe it's not. I'm not a nuclear scientist. 我只是脸长得像是他们中的一员 || I just have the face of one.
而我们的新能源部长 瑞克·派瑞 || And our new Energy Secretary, rick perry, 对修复这一问题表示乐观 || has said he's optimistic about fixing the whole problem
听起来很棒 || which dose sounds great 尽管他针对另外一个灾难并没有处理得很好 || Although he didn't exactly did great at dealing with this disaster:
没错 那就是他在《与星共舞》上的表现 || Yeah. That was him on Dancing with the Stars, 基于他的表现可以看出 || And on the basis of that,
管理不稳定能源非他所长 || managing volatile energy is not his forte. 但是我们已经说着要修复这个问题几十年了 || But here is the thing. We've been saying we're going to fix this for decades now.
而我们看起来并没有一个靠谱的解决方案 || And we seem to be no closer to a solution. 让我展示一下我们有多一筹莫展 || And let me show you something that really drove that fact home to us:
因为我们节目已经研究这个话题几个礼拜了 || Because we've been researching this story for a couple of weeks now. 就在昨天下午 || And just yesterday afternoon
我们找到了一个1977年的电视节目 也就是我出生的那一年 || Stumbled on a TV special from 1977, the year I was born: NBC新闻报道 || NBC news presents:
危险 || Danger! 放射性废料 || Radioactive waste!
是的 这个问题的历史 || Yes, this problem is so old 可以追溯到新闻用美国的形状作为背景 || they reported on it back when the news was kept in an America-shaped vault
而你必须用手柄翻开它的时代 || you had to open with a crank. 就在我们昨天观看这个的时候 || And as we watched that yesterday,
我们不寒而栗地逐渐意识到 纯属偶然的 || we gradually- and chillingly- realized, by pure coincidence, 它指出了我们刚刚告诉你的事件的每一部分 || it hits every beat of the story that we just told you.
以水手向大海扔桶的影片开始 || It opens with footage of sailors throwing barrels into the ocean 它提到了汉福德的设备 || it looks at the facilities at hanford,
它讲述了放射物质对工人的影响 || It talks about radiation's impact on workers, 还有生活在附近的家庭 || And on families who live nearby.
而且尽管它没有受辐射的鳄鱼 但是它有受辐射的牛 || And while it doesn't have a radioactive alligator, it does have radioactive cows. 当然也不错 尽管我更喜欢我们的鳄鱼 || Which is still good, although I preferred our alligator.
我喜欢当他做出呲呲呲呲 || I liked it when he went: 但是这个纪录片最让人不寒而栗的瞬间是 || But the most chilling moment in that documentary might be the one
当他们和当局坐在一起 || where they sit down with someone in authority 并要求被告知什么时候能解决问题 || And demand to know when this will be fixed.
当你询问 问题什么时候能解决 || When you asked "The problem will be solved?" 你得到的答案是这样的 || You get answers like this:
最实际的时间计划是什么 || What's the realistic timetable? 最实际的时间计划是 1985年执行存贮 || Frank Baranowski: realistic timetable is scheduled to have a repository in operation by 1985
在1978年选出场地及具体细则 || with a selection of the sites by the end 1978 for detailed work 就是这样 || Exactly
核废料问题早在八十年代就应该被我们解决了 || Nuclear waste is a problem we were supposed to have dealt with in the 1980s 但至今未能解决 就像这个我一直随身携带的魔方 || And still can't solve much like this rubik's cube I always carrying with me
你是我的冉阿让 小方 || You're my Jean Valjean, cube, 总有一天我会打败你的 || And one day I shall defeat you.
在那段新闻的最后 请记住 这是四十年前 || And at the end of that special, remember, forty years ago, 报道传达了以下特别的信息 || the correspondent delivers this special message.
废料每分钟都在增加 || The waste increases every minute. 解决何处安置迫在眉睫 || The solution of where to put it is years away,
所有之前的方法都不管用 || and none of the previous solutions has worked. 在这个国家里 我们太习惯于危机的最后一刻才行动 || We are accustomed in this country to act only in times of crisis.
但对于核废料来说 || But with nuclear waste, 等危机发生则为时已晚 || when the crisis comes, it will be too late.
那可是四十年前的警告 || And that was four decades ago! 这个问题上我们已经等了太久 || We've already waited way too long to resolve this issue
我们只是在试图避开问题 || and we are dancing with trouble here. 所以如果有任何人说政府可以继续等待 || So if anyone says the government can just continue to wait,
他们就像是一座没有厕所的房子一样 —— 满嘴屎 || they are, much like a house with no toilet, absolutely full of shit. 现在 亮点时刻 || And now, this.
现在 一些马丁·什克雷利的庭审中 || And now, some of the actual responses 被要求回避的陪审员的真实回答 || from potential jurors excused from the Martin Shkreli trial.
我知道被告是谁 || I'm aware of the defendant. 我恨他 || And I hate him.
不 不 不 不 || No, no, no, no. 当我进入并坐下时 他转过身 || By the time I came in and sat down and he turned around,
我瞬间感到我有了偏见 || I felt immediately I was biased. 他看起来就很混蛋 || He kind of looks like a dick.
今天我走进来看到他的时候 我脑海中就明白 || When I walked in here today, I looked at him, and in my head, 这是个小人 我不知道他是谁 我只是走进来看着他 || That's a snake, not knowing who he was, I just walked in and looked right at him,
就知道他绝对是个阴险小人 || And that's a snake. 我认为他是个贪婪的小人 || I think he's a greedy little man.
我假定他是有罪的 除非你能证明他清白 || You'd have to convince me he was innocent rather than guilty. 我唯一能公正判断的是 || The only thing I'd be impartial about
他应该去哪个监狱 || Is what prison this guy goes to. 他到底是蠢还是贪 好难决定 || Is he stupid or greedy? I can't understand.
他侮辱了Wu-Tang Clan || He disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan. *别惹武当* || *Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing ta F' Wit*
今天的节目到此结束 || That's our show, 我们接下来会停播至九月十号 || We will off next couple of weeks and be back September 10th.
感谢收看 晚安 || Thanks for watching, good night! 上周今夜秀小分队荣誉译制 资源发布http://www. talkshowcenter. com 字幕组招新群376107094