Joe Wong: Building A Wall Didn't Work For China



具有移民身份的黄西 (Joe Huang),曾因调侃白登及奥巴马,在美一战成名。这次又登美国脱口秀节目,大开边境墙的玩笑,笑称他以来自中国的经验,要告诉川普:“筑墙没用”,逗得台下观众笑声一片。


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Hey, everybody, welcome back to the show.

Folks, my next guest is a stand-up comedian and the host of my favorite late-night show in China, "Is it true"?

Please welcome, all the way from Beijing, Joe Wong!

Hello. Hi, everybody. Hello, people up there. Hello.

So, I am actually an American immigrant.

And they say that America is a country of immigrants.

So I have to ask you guys-please, leave my country.

I'm serious.

We have a zero-tolerance policy right now.

I heard that Asians have become the fastest growing immigrant group in America. which is really amazing because Mexicans can cross the river and come here.

And I had to fly thousnds of miles to Mexico, and then cross that river.

Trump wants to build a wall to stop immigration.

I'm from China.

So I know a lot about walls.

They don't work.

And since it's later, it's just going to become a huge tourist attraction.

But I do respect Trump, though.

Because after he took office, there was the K. K. K. march, anti-K. K. K march, women's march, anti-child separation march.

And you know, how much Americans hate exercise.

He has contributed more to Americans' health than all of the Y. M. C. A'. s combined.

And he also contributes to the health of other countries, because laughter is the best medicine.

I mean, you have seen his performance at the U. N. ?

He killed.

They were probably even a better audience than you guys are.

Just kidding. You guys are great.

My son was born and raised in America.

I remember one day he came home-he came home from school.

That was when he was about five years old.

He said to me, "Hey, dad, I learned American history today".

I said, "Wow, that's great".

He said, "Now I really feel bad for black people".

I said, "Yeah, they're really mistreated in American history".

He said, "Yeah, and I'm so glad that I'm white".

I said, "hold on, you're not White".

He said, "What am I"? I said, "You're yellow".

This is a true story. He took a look at his hand.

He was like, "daddy, this doesn't look yellow to me".

I said, "yes, I know, but this is America, and everybody has to have a color. And that's the color they gave us. You better deal with it".

But my son has a good point, though.

Nobody in America, especially a person of color, is exactly the color they are assigned, you know.

Like, this is not exactly yellow. It's kind of brown.

A black person is not exactly black. They're kind of brown.

So we're pretty much all different shades of Mexicans.

So, white people, please don't feel left out.

I have a lot of things in common with white guys.

For example, I have an Asian wife.

All right, that's about my time. Thank you guys so much.

Thank you very much. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Joe Wong, everybody! We'll be right back.