Hey, everybody, welcome back to the show.
Folks, my next guest is a stand-up comedian and the host of my favorite late-night show in China, "Is it true"?
Please welcome, all the way from Beijing, Joe Wong!
Hello. Hi, everybody. Hello, people up there. Hello.
So, I am actually an American immigrant.
And they say that America is a country of immigrants.
So I have to ask you guys-please, leave my country.
We have a zero-tolerance policy right now.
I heard that Asians have become the fastest growing immigrant group in America. which is really amazing because Mexicans can cross the river and come here.
And I had to fly thousnds of miles to Mexico, and then cross that river.
Trump wants to build a wall to stop immigration.
I'm from China.
So I know a lot about walls.
They don't work.
And since it's later, it's just going to become a huge tourist attraction.
But I do respect Trump, though.
Because after he took office, there was the K. K. K. march, anti-K. K. K march, women's march, anti-child separation march.
And you know, how much Americans hate exercise.
He has contributed more to Americans' health than all of the Y. M. C. A'. s combined.
And he also contributes to the health of other countries, because laughter is the best medicine.
I mean, you have seen his performance at the U. N. ?
They were probably even a better audience than you guys are.
Just kidding. You guys are great.
My son was born and raised in America.
I remember one day he came home-he came home from school.
That was when he was about five years old.
He said to me, "Hey, dad, I learned American history today".
I said, "Wow, that's great".
He said, "Now I really feel bad for black people".
I said, "Yeah, they're really mistreated in American history".
He said, "Yeah, and I'm so glad that I'm white".
I said, "hold on, you're not White".
He said, "What am I"? I said, "You're yellow".
This is a true story. He took a look at his hand.
He was like, "daddy, this doesn't look yellow to me".
I said, "yes, I know, but this is America, and everybody has to have a color. And that's the color they gave us. You better deal with it".
But my son has a good point, though.
Nobody in America, especially a person of color, is exactly the color they are assigned, you know.
Like, this is not exactly yellow. It's kind of brown.
A black person is not exactly black. They're kind of brown.
So we're pretty much all different shades of Mexicans.
So, white people, please don't feel left out.
I have a lot of things in common with white guys.
For example, I have an Asian wife.
All right, that's about my time. Thank you guys so much.
Thank you very much. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Joe Wong, everybody! We'll be right back.