Kill me. It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

杀了我吧 没用的 人能在死亡数小时内一直制。

Yes, I'd rather be cared for by a flatulent helper monkey.

我宁要一只猴子来照顾我。

It's nothing personal. I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie.

不是故意针对你。我只是不想我未来的侄子侄女一吃紫雪糕就胃胀。

Meanwhile, me, I was making money in the USA, but the closest thing I had to a friend was the flatulent co-worker I took my cigarette breaks with.

与此同时， 我在美国赚钱，但我最亲近的朋友是和我一起抽烟的那位吹的同事。