Kill me. It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

杀了我吧 没用的 在死亡数小时内一直制造气。

Yes, I'd rather be cared for by a flatulent helper monkey.

我宁要一只猴子来照顾我。

It's nothing personal. I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie.

故意针对你。我只我未来的侄子侄女一吃紫雪糕就胃胀气。

Meanwhile, me, I was making money in the USA, but the closest thing I had to a friend was the flatulent co-worker I took my cigarette breaks with.

与此同时， 我在美国赚钱，但我最亲近的朋友和我一起抽烟的那位吹气的同事。