Now, as careful guardians to ourselves, we can internalise the process and use our inner adult to soothe the always easily flustered but also easily calmed inner child.
You can glimpse this, for instance, when I say, " I'm in the market for a beer" — showing that we've internalised the idea of a market for other values.
That it's like, OK, I'm really stressed and I get frantic and upset, and you internalise and you're very calm, even when you are stressed, and we would butt heads.
Whether you're a top athlete, a musician, an artist, or an average worker, the best way to understand your talents and your limitations and your flaws or weaknesses is to internalise other people's views of you.
My father left when I was three, almost four, and you internalise that, even as a toddler, how I'd made myself as lovable as I could make myself, and that made me as safe as I could make myself.