Takeaways aren't really an option, except for back in 2001 when Pizza Hut memorably sent a family-sized salami pizza on a Russian rocket as part of a million dollar marketing stunt.
STEP 1 Start with a platter of salami and cheese as nibbles. Both contain phenylethylamine, the euphoria-inducing chemical your body produces when you fall in love.
Because the questions that we ask, the questions that we ask determine our reality: a peanut sandwich, or geometric shapes, or children on the bus, or salami, whatever it is. We very often create our own reality.
Bacon, ham, salami, sausages and hot dogs contain chemicals that are harmful for us, like nitrates and nitrites that can damage the DNA in our digestive system and lead to cancer.
By the end of next year we shall be waving goodbye to the good old British sausage, and we'll be forced to accept some foreign muck like salami or bratwurst or something in its place.