So what kept me going was one day I asked my brother, I know, I have a deformed hand but I am tired of looking at these white walls in the hospital and wearing this white scraps.

所以让坚持下去是有一天问哥哥， 手，但厌倦看着医院里这些白墙， 穿着这些白色破布。

It could have been some sort of a malformed hand or limb or a hair lip or something like that.

那可能是一种手或肢体，或是兔唇之类情况。