From the first he was a twy-minded man--one of those divided natures which are inclined almost equally to two quite opposite careers.

一开始，他就是一个思想矛盾的人——一性格分裂的人，几乎同样倾全相反的职业。

Perhaps I should have hidden my struggles, and flattered you by pretending I had every reason to love you.

也许我应当把我的思想矛盾隐瞒起来，假装我有一切爱你的理由，来奉承你。