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驼鹿The Moose

I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car. And I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.

It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel the moose woke up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, you know.

There's a law in New York State against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party.

I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibility. So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door.

The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say " Hello. You know the Solomons" . We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored.

Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes they give out prices for the best costume of the night.

First price goes to the Burcowiche's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious.

He and the Burcowiches lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but I got the Burcowiches.

So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State. . . Tuesdays, Thursdays and especially Saturday. The following morning the Burcowiches wake up in the woods, in a moose suit.

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