Part 3

Class of 2017, you are particularly suited to the task of building collective resilience because you are graduating from Virginia Tech. Communities like this don't just happen. They are formed and strengthened by people coming together in very specific ways. You've been part of that here, whether you knew it or not. As you go off and become leaders – and yes, you will lead, you are destined to lead – you can make the communities you join – and the communities you form – stronger.

Here's where you start.

You can build collective resilience through shared experiences. You've had lots of those: jumping to "Enter Sandman, " – I saw that this morning, it's incredible. Enduring the walk across the Drillfield in the winter (kind of like Jon Snow at the Wall), finding new loves and then new new loves, being there for each other through triumph and through disappointment. Every class, every meal, every all-nighter has added another strand to a vast web that connects you to each other and to Hokies everywhere.

These ties do more than connect – they support. Nearly 30 years ago, a very talented young man made it from a very underprivileged background all the way to college, but then he didn't finish. And when he dropped out, he said, "If only I had my posse with me, I would have graduated." That insight led an amazing woman named Deborah Bial to create the Posse Foundation, which recruits high-potential students in teams of 10 to go from the same city to the same college. Posse kids have a 90 percent graduation rate from some of the best schools in the country.

We all need our posses – especially when life puts the obstacles in our path. Out there in the world, when you leave Virginia Tech, you're going to have to build your own posse – and sometimes that's going to mean asking for help.

This was never easy for me. Before Dave died, I tried to bother people as little as possible – and yes, "bothering people" is what I thought it was. But then my life changed and I needed my friends and family and colleagues more than I ever could have thought I would. My mom – who along with my dad is here with me today just like yours are here with you – stayed with me for the very first month, literally holding me as I cried myself to sleep. I had never felt weaker. But I learned that it takes strength to rely on others. There are times to lean in and there are times to lean on.